I seem to want to be there a lot these days, in that place where all creation takes place before it manifests. I’ve been doing a lot of ‘daydreaming’, it seems for weeks, or even months. Sometimes I worry that I’m depressed, or my back just hurts too much to move. But I think it’s more than that.
You know what? Sometimes I just get tired of thinking, and deciding, I just want to sit and watch the world go by. In the past I’ve always had a book I’m reading, usually one of the new spiritual or self-help books. But lately, I have no interest in reading. And sometimes I drag myself to the page to put something there as a daily ‘meditation’ of some sort.
Last summer was a little like that, although I was aware of processing some personal emotional issues. I liked the solitude I experienced while doing that. But these days are different. I’m feeling that something I’m not aware of is causing me to sit still and just BE.
It feels a little like I imagine cocooning is like for the caterpillar. I even want to crawl into bed much earlier in the evening than before. And I sleep in much later in the mornings. Sometimes I get up for a few minutes and then go right back to bed. It’s during those hours that I seem to have the dreams that are so much fun to solve.
I just plain want to rest a while, and wait for what’s coming next.
Water color by Leslie Allyn – used with permission